The Foreigner

Notfromial Aroundhereus


The Foreigner is perhaps the easiest of all men to spot (aside from "The Frat Dick" and "The Hipster"--these will be forthcoming posts). You can recognize him by his slightly different style of dress, rampant bravado and most obviously, the accent. The gaggle of women hanging on his every lilting word will also be a good indicator of his presence.

What to Expect:

The Foreigner is the ultimate "love 'em and leave 'em" Lothario. When dealing with The Foreigner it's best to take all steps necessary to avoid falling into his trap. He is a man of many facets and can change himself as necessary to fit any situation. And his favorite prey? The silly American girl who loses her mind and underthings at the very sound of an accent-tinted voice. Admit it, ladies and gents, we have a reputation the world over of simply begging for it with a man who takes his tea with milk, his humor dry and his voice full of long vowels. We'll even forgo a jacked-up grill so long as its vocal strains sound nothing like ours. We think of every Brit as genius, every Aussie as an adventurous and easy-going beach bum, and every Latin gent as sex on legs. But the worst part of it is that they know it too and they will use this irrational logic to their advantage! If he suspects that playing the role of the hapless traveler lost in a big country full of strange ways, he will. This can include translating a menu, asking you to walk him to his destination because he just can't understand your directions, or hoping for a "cuddle" because he feels so lonely this far away from home. Don't be surprised if he shows you pictures of his "mum" on his phone because they're just so close. You don't happen to have an Irish linen handkerchief to dry his eyes do you? Never mind, it's not necessary because he carries his own that he actually picked up in Dublin. If need be he will take a more sophisticated approach--painting himself as the worldly traveler with a devil-may-care attitude. He's been everywhere and done everything. He'll regale you with stories of his journeys and paint pictures of his homeland. No matter that he's never held down an actual job (or relationship for that matter) because of his nomad ways, you'll begin to think that maybe you're just the girl or guy to make him finally want to put down roots. You imagine summering with his family in Europe, or lounging on a little beach in the South America that only he knows. But don't bother. Because once you welcome him into your arms or between your legs he'll be on his way to conquer the next location, lady or lad--you, my dear, are just another stamp on his passport.